We were posed with this question in a classroom in Croatia after showing Kathryn’s video of our time in Swaziland. The question took me so off guard that all I could mutter after a moment of hesitation was, “We. . . hope there’s hope.” I sat with the question all day, rolling it around in my head. . . no answer.
Hurting with racism, corruption, and disease at a level that I’ve never seen before in my life, Africa left me with very little hope.
As we met each person there, I would recall verses from the Bible. . . Hope comes from God. . . God’s hope never disappoints. . . and tell myself that we were the carriers of hope, we had been called there to bring hope. But I left Africa with a diminished belief in hope, and since, have tried to put it out of my mind.
However, as this question dredged it up again, I began to realize that a battle between a belief in hope and despair has been waging inside me for a long time.
I mean, with all the bad things the world shows me, I have a lot of evidence for despair, but what argument can hope offer?
The Bible says there’s hope, and that hope does not disappoint.
Though the Bosnian war ravaged this area, I see thriving cities where life has been restored.
I walked inside a tunnel in Sarajevo where free Bosnians secretly evacuated over a million people from the city while it was under siege by the Serbs.
A swaying mass of Atlanta youth sing “there’s always gonna be another mountain, I’m always gonna wanna make it move,” while proud parents wave posters and watch their children become the first generation in their families to graduate from high school.
As each example enters my mind, it is quickly replaced with a despairing one, and I think, “What does it mean to only ‘hope there’s hope’.” It’s so far diminished from having hope, from carrying hope. Two steps removed from residing in hope. But even this flickering light, isn’t it better than having no hope at all?
No hope at all looks like a hallway in Atlanta where a teacher sits on the floor, staring at the lockers, crying. That moment hadn’t lasted long, but its memory reminded me that this battle has been no stranger to my spirit.
I’m the kind of person that likes having all the answers, and don’t we all? As a believer, sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to. The truth is, believer or not, no one has all the answers. I may have one, but things like hope seem determined to drive me mad.
So, as I stare bleakly into a world where hope can often seem scarce, I can pinpoint a few things I know to be true.
I am a walking pillar of hope. Jesus’ death on the cross completely restored my spirit from the sinfully evil creature I came into the world as, and because of Him, I stand as evidence that change can and does happen.
I am called to remain faithful to God, whether or not I understand His ways at times.
I may not understand hope, what or where it is, at all times. But, I do believe it exists. And I do believe that as long as there are people with good in them to say “Here I am. Please send me!” that there’ll always be hope. I’m determined to believe it. So, Africa, Yes. There is hope for you.
Hello friends! I wish I could see each of your faces, but since I can't, I figured I would allow you to see mine. Here is a video summary of what we did in Croatia. LOVE YOU! MISS YOU!!!!!!!
We jumped out of the van and began to walk into the church in Bulgaria, while my team teasingly told our ministry contact about my Pentecostal background, saying that I regularly wave ribbons during church service. Of course, to us this is a joke because, although some women in my church as a child waved ribbons, I never actually did, minus during special performances when I was told to.
In fact, this has been an on-going joke because the truth is that my peers and I are too self-conscious to ever do something like that, and the thought of it seems silly and embarrassing. Well. . .
Our ministry contact did not take it as a joke, pulled golden flags from the back of the van, and handed them directly to me, thrilled that I could take part in the service in such a way. I took them from him a little bit in disbelief, feigned confidence, and wondered if I would actually be called upon to perform during service. I was.
With color rushing to my cheeks, I bashfully stepped up to the stage to stand in front of everyone, while my friends in the back row laughed and video-taped. I began to wave the flags with as much bravura as I could muster, though in earnest, I did feel silly and slightly embarrassed. Then, I remembered a worship leader’s words one day at a conference in San Francisco, “We should worship as if Jesus literally just walked in the room.”
It was a sobering thought. Even more sobering was the realization that I was making a mockery of a form of worship that our contact takes very much to heart, and if you were to see him do it, you would be humbled at such an unabashed love for our Savior.
Because the truth is, that Savior of ours suffered the ultimate humiliation. I imagine it’s a lot more embarrassing to hang on a cross, virtually naked, while people openly mock you.
And so, I shut out the rest of the room, looked down at the flowing gold fabric that was admittedly beautiful, and agreed that my Savior deserved such a display. I imagined Him entering the room, and was thrilled to be honored with the task those flags presented. It was a humbling experience, which is good considering my regular battle with pride.
In fact, as of late, I’ve begun to drown in my own pride, and the problem with pride is that it’s proud. It's hard to admit. It rejoices in the taking over. It takes comfort in knowing how great it is. It secretly dances around your soul filling your ears with words of how successful, how smart, how wonderful you are.
It’s no wonder that I would be entering “Romans” at this point in my own Bible reading, or that I began reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer today. God knows what we need, eh? More than that, I look back on that day in Bulgaria and remember that God actual calls us to a humbleness far greater than what I underwent there. That day was simply a glimpse, but one that will serve as a faithful reminder in the days to come.
Current financial status: $14,800.00 FULLY FUNDED!!! Praise God!
If there is anyone still out there that would like to bless a World Racer with financial support, two of my squadmates did not reach our funding goal. Adventures In Missions graciously extended the deadline far beyond March 1st, and now they have until April 16th to raise the remainder of their funding or be sent home. Amanda Brucki still needs about $1400 and Michelle Lasko needs $900. I am here because I have a loving community that lifted me up with their support, and unfortunately, Amanda and Michelle’s communities are simply unable to do the same at this time.
Pray about it. It may be God’s will that they go home, or it might be an opportunity for you to bless a stranger. I’ll leave that up to you. Jesus bless you, friends!
But luckily, I found a coat on sale in Africa for $7 so I was able to come at least a little bit prepared! That's right, church van, Jesus is the Answer! He'll get us through!!
Upon arriving in Draganesti-Olt, the head pastor informed us that a huge part of their ministry during the winter time is shoveling snow. Here is David and I in front of the church, ready to head out into the blistery cold!
Being from Salt Lake, I understand what a blessing a shoveled driveway/sidewalk/street can be to someone, and I was thrilled to jump into a ministry that I understood!
Not only am I familar with shoveling snow, I also actually really enjoy it! So I jumped right in!!
To me, it's the perfect combination of playing in the snow and productivity! This playing has a goal!! Plus, it's a great workout and a great way to heat up in the freezing temperatures!
Ironically, I was paired with 3 Californians. However, Bea was great company! She tried her best with the shovel, but since we were short tools, she mostly just sang to me while I shoveled.
David is at least from Northern California so he's no stranger to the snow, and Peter, our proud UCLA man, showed his enthusiasm to shovel at every opportunity.
There were many moments when Pastor Raul would join us outside and ask us what reward we would like to have. It wasn't unusual for him and other staff members to surprise us with chocolate or donuts. However, I would respond, "No, no reward. This is what we came to do!" So he would re-ask the question, "Okay, would you like a reward now or in heaven?" Easy, heaven it is!
Here, I was working with Tiffany and Rachel in a space that wasn't even wide enough to do a 360 degree spin when holding the shovel. It was quite entertaining!
All month, God was regularly reiterating the lesson of Luke 17:10, "So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.'"
Megan and Kristen made a hilarious series of How-To videos during shoveling, which demonstrated each of their methods, again considering that they couldn't turn around to carry the snow out of the small alley we were working in. We would have to walk backwards with our shovel till we were out in the open.
In fact, after even a few minutes of shoveling and working up a sweat, we found ourselves shedding our coats. Here, Maria is standing in a 3 inch hole that we made by taking an ax to the solid ice!
A normal aspect of The Race: missing events back home. Thank God for the Postagram App! Hope you got it, brother. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFFERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACLYN too!!!!!!!!!!!! February is the birthday month in the Smith family.
Current financial status: $14,800.00 FULLY FUNDED!!! Praise God!
Like it says in Philippians 4. . . Thank you so much for all your gifts and prayers! My needs have been amply supplied, and your generosity is a fragrant and pleasing gift to God. Not that you ask for anything in return, but I know God will richly bless you for all that you've given! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
How do I describe my mood?. . . Let’s go with. . . calm butelated.
I spent the day at a Romanian grandmother’s house, learning to cook a traditional Romanian meal with Tiffany, check out her blog for a full photographed account (Yes, Jaclyn, this is the Tiffany that was cooking different dishes on her blog before we left this summer). Yummy!!!
Grandma Ana is such a sweet woman. What an understatement!
We started out with prayer and Bible reading with 4 other older Romanian women, then cooked Sarmale (cabbage rolls) and Ardei (stuffed peppers), and left with 7+ kisses from Ana all over our faces.
After a large lunch at home, I curled up in bed with a little Nutella and Pepsi Light and my computer. As I began to tuck myself in, I glanced at the date I saw on my AIM profile and began to ponder January 25, 2011, the day I interviewed for The World Race. I remember that day.
I remember taking Shaggy out for a walk down Liberty Parkway. It was a rainy day, and I talked with Kim on the phone about my life and about God’s calling.
It’s amazing to think that that was over a year ago, and I am now in month 6 of my journey with The World Race! Holy Cowza.
It’s amazing how you can change in a few months, the ways you can be refined in one experience, the amount of things you can learn in one day!
I cherish moments like those with Ana in her kitchen, just like in Chile with mi familia, and I sincerely appreciate this journey. Though it may be tough, my life is so blessed and just good.
Then, I get on Facebook, and I see a posting by Francis Frizelle. He has posted a video entitled Valentine’s Day song – Z squad girls. I watch as two of our guys serenade a room full of my squadmates, all dressed up for Valentine’s Day. I watch captivated as the sweet lyrics slide across the screen, and I think, “That is what God meant for man to be like.” Romantic, loving, creative, urging us toward God. “The world of men out there could do themselves a favor by mimicking these.” Father’s the world over excluded, of course.
To add to that, Peter and David surprised all the girls on Valentine’s Day by cooking us breakfast in the morning, chalking Happy Valentine’s Day on the ground entering the room. Then, cooked a WONDERFUL dinner with breaded snitel pork steaks with homemade apple sauce, broiled salmon with cherry sauce, scalloped potatoes, and seasoned steamed carrot sticks. It was a really loving and wonderful Valentine’s Day, and for some, a really redemptive day, which makes my heart sigh. I, myself, have no bitter feelings toward Valentine’s Day, but it soothes my soul to know that this year we had such men of God to redeem the past hurts of these daughters of God that I love so.
I’m just a little in love with this journey. And that’s why I’m elated. Thank You, God, Love of my life, for bringing me here. Thank You for continually hearing the desires of my heart. Thank You for fulfilling them in creative and challenging and always loving ways.
Little in love with The Race, VERY IN LOVE with You!
Current financial status: $14,800.00 FULLY FUNDED!!! Praise God!
Thank you to all of you for your loving support and willing, giving heart! You, my family and community, mean so much to me!! It is through your giving and prayerful consideration that I have been blessed to walk this journey. Specific THANKS go out to Alysa, MK, The Rosenquists, Gama, and The Mergls!!
For those of you who were still interested in giving, please consider sending your support to my teammate, Marian Padilla. She is my team leader and plays a crucial part in this journey of mine. She is a part of the work God is doing in me and through me. She still has about $3,000 to raise in the next WEEK in order to reach the final deadline of March 1st, or she will be in danger of getting sent home. To donate to Marian, click here.
Information download. This month my squad is in Swaziland. My team, Ruach, is partnered with Team 2:20 in the city of Timbutini, just outside Manzini.
We have been working at 3 different care points set up by Adventures In Missions and Children’s Hope Chest, providing food and social services to the communities in the rural area where we are staying.
Twice a week, we visit the Hope House. It’s a care center for people with terminal illnesses, often AIDS or TB. Many of them have no one to spend time with during the day and are even bound to their houses due to their illnesses. We’ve been going to talk with them or read the Bible to them, play music or sing, or even just sit with them and hold their hands.
We have also been visiting a hospital. Our teams begin in the children’s ward, and then split to go into the men’s and women’s wards. The first day we went, the children’s ward was bustling with activity, children in almost every bed. After 3 weeks of going regularly and praying over the patients, we have seen dramatic healings, and yesterday we found the hospital only about 30% full.
In all honesty, my faith was small. I placed my hands on the patients, I prayed for them because I knew that that was what we were there to do. Believing I had any power from God to actually make anything happen, that was another story. It’s been a process allowing God to fill me with the faith that makes prayer a powerful force, but our teams have seen prayer be the only answer.
We’ve encountered a demon or two along the way. Not so strange for me, having had similar encounters in college during our 24-7 Prayer Room, but every encounter has built my faith and drawn me to the power that frees people from these evil spirits, the power of Jesus. It sounds cheesy, but explain to me how a woman in a hospital, eyes rolling, beating her chest, actin’ crazy is suddenly calm and completely normal as you pray HIS name over her spirit. It happened last night, it happened last week, it’s happenin’ in Africa.
Other than that, we’ve been building relationships wherever God opens the opportunity. A few of my teammates have been bringing people from the community into the church, and I have made a special friend at the market in town. Her name is Winele, and I’ve been going to visit her every day that I can get into town. She and her grandmother are delightful. They’ve been pushing me to learn more S’swati, and they’ve given me a S’swati name: Ntombie, meaning girl. The meaning is a little simple, but I won’t complain, ha.
Oh, also in the market yesterday, I met a Mormon missionary from Salt Lake City!! What?! What?!?! I was so excited to see someone from home, I almost hugged him, Ha! But of course, I simply, respectfully shook his hand. ;) God bless you, Elder Thatcher. I pray you encounter God over and over in the remaining 6 months of your journey in Swaziland. Y’all, will you lift him up? God’s full of divine encounters, amen?
Well, that’s it for now. My health is good, as well as the health of my teammates. THANK YOU for your prayers. They are getting us through!
On Saturday, we are headed to Eastern Europe. There was a slight change of route, and we’ll be headed to Romania next on our journey.
Love and miss you all!
Current financial status: $14,095.01
Final Deadline: March 1st, only $704.99 more to go!!!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you to Alysa, Mary Katherine, The Wiles, and The Adventure Foursquare Church!!!
There literally was when we entered our kitchen in Swaziland, mouse droppings, but I thought of the phrase figuratively as I reflected on the last month in Mozambique.
This is my earnest attempt to be raw about the difficult stuff that comes with traveling around the world, living out of a pack, and sacrificing all the physical comforts of home and the states. Most of the time, I avoid talking about the tough stuff and try to focus on the moving moments, but the tough stuff are the real lessons, right?
Last month, I was physically miserable. It was the most primitive living situation that I have encountered thus far on The Race. We were living in a cement house, sleeping pads on the floor, one bathroom for 20 people, water and electricity turning off for long spans of time, and nowhere to go from the heat! However, it wasn’t the simplicity of our living conditions that made me miserable. It was the constant ill health that plagued me, the lack of healthcare, and the overwhelming need to escape.
Within the first week of arriving in Machava, I got sick. It was the kind of sick that leaves you running to the bathroom every few hours, not sure what end it will come out of. You know, fever, no appetite, weakness, you lie there in the heat with nothing to do. My body was so completely covered in mosquito bites that I was determined to believe I had malaria, despite my regular malaria medication and everyone praying for me. Man, those mosquitoes sure do like me!
The next day, I found myself lying flat on a bench outside of the local clinic, having just thrown up in their bathroom, waiting to find out the results of my blood test. Funny, I was actually praying for malaria because the thought of having something contagious that would infect my whole team was something I couldn’t bear. I just couldn’t live with that guilt. Upon reflection, I see the weight of such a wish.
Turned out, I had a bacterial infection that was cleared up with a couple antibiotics and a few days of lying on my mat. Praise God, no malaria!
Well, the mosquitoes raged on, and later I discovered that I am allergic to the sap that oozes from the mango trees. Skin allergies don’t really surprise me though and, despite everyone’s exclamations at the intense appearance of my arms and legs, it was taken care of by the skin cream I brought with me from my dermatologist.
At this point, I was pretty over Mozambique, but I had actually found a peace with it. I learned to appreciate water when we had it, had come to terms with the raging heat in December, and had even accepted the long walk to the market for a wannabe Diet Coke as a treat. It seemed that I was learning to live a little more simply, too bad this peace was so short-lived.
A few days after Christmas, my eye began to bother me, and taking out my contact that night felt like pulling off my cornea. The next day, New Years Eve, I decided to stay in while the rest of my team went out to enjoy a party with fireworks and air conditioning and good food. This wasn’t so bad. Two of my teammates stayed with me, and we enjoyed a quiet night together, taking advantage of the quicker internet speeds with all the other team members gone.
On New Years Day, I fought back my discomfort and agitation by listening to Shakira’s Waka Waka on loop and reminding myself of the “You’ll Never Be Here Again” Game.
You’re a good soldier, choosing your battles. Pick yourself up, and dust yourself off, and back in the saddle. You’re on the frontline, everyone’s watching. You know it’s serious, we’re getting closer, this isn’t over. The pressure is on, you feel it, but you got IT all, believe it. When you fall, get up. Oh Oh! And if you fall, get up. Ey ey! Sa-me-na Me-na, eh ey. Waka waka, eh ey! ‘Cause this is Africa!!
Listen to Your God, this is our motto. Your time to SHINE, don’t wait in line. People are raising their expectations. Go on and feed ‘em. This is your moment, no hesitation. Today’s your day, I feel it. You pave the way, believe it! If you get down, get up. Oh oh! When you get down, get up. Ey ey! It’s time for Africa.
Unfortunately, because of the holiday, pharmacies were closed for 3 days. By day 4 of the eye infection, when medicine arrived, my spirit was so low I can barely describe the feeling. Lying on my mat, sweating, unable to do anything but listen to audio books, I felt trapped inside my own head, and my thoughts just seemed to get louder and louder with every passing hour.
When I couldn’t stand the isolation any longer, I went and stood in Shannon’s room and began to weep. Shannon was also sick, missing her fiancé back home, and wholly understood my trapped feelings. She began to read scripture over me and pour out encouraging, empathetic words. Then, we turned to God together and poured out our hearts to Him.
Though the rest of the day was quite dark, I understood that perseverance can only be learned through hardship, when there's poo on every shelf, if you will.
There’s a phrase I often use, “At the end of the day, it’s just you and God.” It reminds me to live each day, acting in a way pleasing to Him because when it’s all said and done, He’s the only one left. People and things come in and out of your life, but God is always there. He is comforter, He is justifier, He is protector, He is lover. This phrase was haunting me.
God was really challenging me to mean it. At the end of the day, was it really just me and Him? When all comforts were stripped from me—my health, my family, my luxuries—was He really enough? I had followed Him into this desert, telling Him that the only thing I needed to make it through the day was Him. It was my moment of truth, it was time to actually mean it. God had taken away my eyesight so that, for once in my life, I could actually see HIM, and just Him.
It was no longer Him and the blessings He has given me, Him and the people He has given me, Him and all the things He encompasses. Just Him. I was lying prostrate before My Love, seeing Him for the first time, cut and real. And He was enough.
I wouldn’t trade last month for anything. One of my teammates said, “Perseverance is written all over you,” but it’s more than that. I can feel it, unexplainably, spanned out through my whole body, my whole character.
According to the doctor in South Africa, I had an ulcer in my eye. Once I finally received medicine to treat it, it lasted total 11 days. Eleven days to finally see the Lord. You can do anything for 11 days, right? Or even 11 months?
The more festive our group became, the more I longed for home, and the more trapped I felt in Africa, on The Race. It was really hard to be away from my family for the very first time ever on Christmas. The extreme heat of Mozambique had really helped me to breeze over the holiday season and pretend it wasn’t happening. But the more I heard Christmas music and the more Christmas movies were played, the more I began to picture a lovely, snowy Christmas back home, happening without me. It was heartbreaking.
I don’t know at what point I became an adult, where pain presses on your heart deep down, making you feel it in your core instead of out on the surface, easily wiped away, like when you’re young. That’s how I was feeling. Without. I was feeling without.
But then, God spoke. He asked me if I loved Him. Of course, I said yes. He asked if I would follow Him wherever, and again, yes. It was then that He reminded me that that was why I was here, away from family. I had followed Him here in love, and for that, it didn’t matter where I was and who I was missing. At the end of the day, it’s just me and Him. I love Him. So. . . here’s where I’ll be.
For Christmas Eve, the teams planned a beautiful, candle-lit service. Peter Dinh reminded us that Jesus coming to Earth as a human baby was “the single most extraordinary act of love the world has EVER seen.” Peter Frizelle reminded us that the beauty of our service was that it wasn’t being conveniently put on by a church, and we were just showing up. Instead, our service happened because we wanted it to happen, because we all love God so much to meet together to recognize His gift to us.
This reminded me of the game I’m playing, The “You’ll Never Be Here Again” Game. Never again will I be in Mozambique on The World Race with these God-loving people, celebrating the birth of my Lord. Never again will I get to spend Christmas with Kathryn Law, my beloved friend. Never again will I receive hand-sewn gifts from Bea. Never again will I be cooked amazing foods and spend the day lying on a sleeping mat on the floor of a cement house while reading Francine Rivers. There’s so much to cherish.
Life really is a journey, but sometimes we get too lost to see it.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a GOOD night!
Current financial status: $13,564.31
Thank you to Ms. Lewis! This is yet another way you have blessed my life!! Jesus bless you!
Mozambique is a beautiful country and God is continually at work through individuals who have devoted their lives to His call. However, Mozambique is also a country of corruption and witchcraft. Many children are orphaned and education is considered a privilege, not a right. With no positive parental influence, teenagers often end up on the streets or living in large group homes, never learning how to become self-sufficient adults.
This month, my team is working with Beacon of Hope - Africa, a ministry that brings teenage boys into a home and provides education, discipleship and life skills training. Every day, they hear about God’s love and learn how to become productive members of society. The boys are expected to use their initiative and new skills to find jobs upon graduation - they do not receive handouts.
January is the start of a new school year and 10 boys will soon be moving back into the Hope House. Beacon of Hope is currently in need of around $15,000 worth of supplies and maintenance before the boys return - and there are only a few weeks left before they arrive!
This Christmas, give a gift that will further the kingdom.
Below is a list of gifts that are needed. Consider giving a gift to Beacon of Hope in honor of a friend or family member (names will be listed on the website as a thank you). No wrapping paper necessary!
You can be a blessing to a Mozambican teenager in need of love in just a few simple steps. Remember, we can't do this without you.
Select the gift(s) you would like to donate from the list below.
The page will open to "Angie Wheeler - Special Project." In the comments section list the gift(s) you are providing the funds for and the name of the person (or family) being honored by the gift.
